Like my mom and sister, and I’m sure my mom’s mom before her, I’m a pretty smiley sort of person. Tennessee has its flaws, but unfriendly people are definitely not among them - the stranger who does not return a smile is more the exception than the rule.
Calgary is quite the opposite when it comes to its street culture and interaction with strangers. Perhaps I’m sensitive or simply pay more attention to these sorts of things, as Ben argues with me on this point. But when a friend came to visit in Calgary a few months ago, she commented that the polite but cold manner of locals was one of the first things that struck her. (And there was no prompting from me on the topic, I might add!)
Don’t get me wrong – most locals are unfailingly polite (they will give you plenty of space, won’t push on the bus, generally say please and thank you and avoid confrontational situations). But I don’t necessarily equate politeness with friendliness, and perhaps this is where the male and female mind differ, and why Ben describes people as being “friendly” while I pick up a different vibe: aloof and brusque, albeit polite, might be the best way to describe the “street attitude” of Calgarians. Much like Danes, I find that once you get them talking, they can be friendly and quite sincere, but it can take some effort to get to that soft interior!
I suppose this strikes me as odd because Calgary is a city the size of Nashville; in bigger cities I’d be more likely to expect this attitude.
To test my perception of Calgarians, over the past few weeks I have begun conducting a very informal social experiment when walking around the downtown streets and Plus 15 pathways during the workdays: I smile at strangers, a part of my countenance that I had partly given up not long after moving here. This is an interesting endeavor for me on days when I’m feeling thick-skinned, and when I just need some entertainment after sitting at a desk for hours.
My (highly unofficial) results have been, for the most part, as expected. The reactions are varied, but mostly I think people simply don’t know how to react to a smiling stranger. I get looks that indicate the smile recipient is questioning my mental stability (“Why in the world would she smile at a stranger on the street?”); I get angry glares (“I was perfectly polite, and now she expects me to smile, too?”); I get indignant huffs (“How dare she laugh at me!”); but on occasion, I DO get brilliant smiles, and those can make my day.
I was discussing this experiment with my loveliest of lovely Spanish friend and she shared the story of her father visiting Calgary from Spain. He continued to smile and greet strangers, only to be met with blank stares. My friend finally told her father he should probably just stop putting himself out there so much, as people would not reciprocate, and she hated seeing him in such a situation; his response was that smiling was his way of making people feel comfortable, and he did not intend to stop!
I still believe in a culture of smiling at strangers, but I suppose it’s also ok if others aren’t accustomed to this very Southern attribute. Just another of the reasons I love traveling and living in new places: there is so much to learn and observe, and so much about yourself that you discover! I, for one, will be tuning into my iPod and reading books while walking around and riding the bus for the next year or so, and taking the Calgarian street culture with a grain of salt :)
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