A Valentine's Surprise?

I just realized that Max's birthday is EXACTLY nine months after Valentine's Day! Do what you will with that tidbit :)

Ok, ok, if you must know, I'm sure our sweet boy was not conceived on Valentine's (I was at the Olympics in Vancouver while Ben was hard at work in Calgary), but it sure would have been cool if we could say he was!

I hope everybody had a great Valentine's - ours was low key as per usual, with Ben in the middle of busy season, but sweet nonetheless with our new little Valentine :)

He and I are off to Nashville shortly and can't wait for all of our friends and family to meet Mr. Max!

Happy Friday!

I hope it's a relaxing one for everybody!

What Canada Has that the US Doesn't

This image is the perfect example of the American ideal that "doing it all" makes you a strong woman. Most countries don't expect women to have two full-time jobs at once ...

When Max hit the 12-week mark a few days ago, it occurred to me that at home in the US, I would be expected to go back to work now. As a Canadian resident though, I still have nine months of leave ahead of me.

Max woke up every two to three hours all night long until he was basically 11 weeks old. By 12 weeks I was finally beginning to feel physically, mentally and emotionally stronger and more rested, but I still have a long way to go. Working by day and caring for a demanding baby by night would be utterly exhausting, and that is an understatement.

The bonding process with my sweet boy is continuing steadily, but we are still getting to know one another. Max only recently began smiling, and I am finally figuring out how to read his cues. Go back to work at this crucial stage? I can't even imagine it! But that is what any working woman in America is faced with, and to me this is heartbreaking.

This article from 2007 points out that the US is one of only FIVE industrialized countries in the world that offers no form of paid maternity benefits. http://www.inc.com/news/articles/200702/family.html

US maternity policies in general are non-existent, making it one of the worst places in the world for new moms. A handful of states and companies offer some financial benefits for six weeks, to select groups of women - but even these programs are not exclusively for parents, but are filed under disability programs! Being a parent is not a disability!

Everybody suffers in this scenario - newborn babies need a loving parent who knows them and cares for them. They thrive best on breastmilk for at least six months. Not only does going back to work early make this a huge challenge, but more support should also be available to women who struggle with breastfeeding. There were several times that I might have given up on it without Canada's amazing (free) public health care system that allowed me to make multiple visits to lactation consultants when things got really tough.

Moms who have the chance to establish a strong bond with their babies and can regularly breastfeed are at lower risk for postpartum depression. Families that build strong relationships from babyhood have a better chance at stability and happiness as they grow.

Many of the problems in the US today - childhood obesity, generally unhealthy lifestyles - could be helped if we just invested more time and energy as a country into our children and families. Parenting is hard work, and we need to help each other out in raising our country's future citizens.

At least Obama's new health care plan ensures women will be able to pump breastmilk while at work: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41249239/ns/business-careers/  This is a small victory, but we really need to see more action! This was one of the major considerations for Ben and I when determining whether we would move back to the US or not, but most people do not have a choice.

Young Love

It's almost Valentine's Day, which has me thinking about the new love in my life. He's blond, blue-eyed, a Canadian... and has no teeth. But before I reveal who this studly dude is, here's a by-the-numbers look at how my life has changed since this guy came into it:

Average Hours of sleep per night: 6
Nursing sessions per day: 10 or more
Diapers changed daily: 7 or more
Length of showers: 5 minutes
Time to savor a meal: 6 minutes
Eating food while it's still hot: statistically impossible
Time spent getting myself + my guy out of the house: 30 minutes
Daily outfit changes due to spit-up or other bodily misfires: 2 (me) and 3 (my man)





Number of smiles it takes from my guy to make any challenges feel like insanely awesome blessings:

Yes, you guessed it, baby Max is my newest Valentine! In spite of all the huge changes, it honestly feels like he's been in me and Ben's lives forever. I really can't imagine life any other way now! Happy early Valentines to everybody!

Speaking of Photos

There are TONS more of them (and video - that's right, we can get high-tech!) on our private Shutterfly photo page.

Just send me a message asking for the password, then hop on over using this link: http://maxsondean.shutterfly.com/

No time for words...

Just a quick photo of our sweet little monkey, who is now 12 weeks old!!

Maxson is Here!

Maxson Dean, our perfect baby boy, was born Sunday, November 14th at 2:59 pm. It was an absolutely gorgeous, sunny, brisk Calgary day. Ben and I watched a spectacular sunrise from our balcony while I was in early labor, and I just knew that this was our baby's day to finally join us. His timing was perfect, because the next day brought a snow storm, and a few days later Calgary was recorded as the second-coldest place in the world (only behind the South Pole), so we have loved being cozy at home with Max!

He weighed in at 6 pounds 14 ounces and 20.5 inches long (he is already taking after his dad with long legs and big feet and hands!) My labor was long, but it was amazing. I feel so incredibly lucky to not only have a healthy baby boy, but that I also had the birth experience of my dreams. I am so proud to say that it was 100% natural from start to finish. I have the most amazing husband in the world, who was - and continues to be - my rock through everything, easing me through the early stages of labor so that I was able to cope. I am amazed to say that the thought of an epidural or any other sort of pain management NEVER crossed my mind!

Labor is not as bad as everybody makes it out to be. Yes, it is VERY hard work, but if you have the frame of mind and a great support team, which I am so lucky to have had, it can be totally manageable. Not only was Ben calm, soothing and so strong for me, but I also had a doula, Leanne, who gave me the extra boost of strength and positivity that I needed as I entered the final stages.

Our midwife team was beyond anything I could have hoped for - nurturing, efficient, calm and so encouraging. And finally, bringing Max into the world in a birth center rather than a hospital is an opportunity I will be forever grateful for. During his first moments in this world, he was surrounded by a cozy environment with calm, nurturing people around, our favorite music and a relaxed mom and dad - I was oblivious, but Ben tells me that "Amber," a lovely, mellow song by the band 311, was playing when Max was born, so clearly that song now has new meaning for us!!

Without any drugs in my system, Max arrived wide-eyed and incredibly alert! Shortly after delivery, I was able to take a bath with Max, and we relaxed together and he had his first meal. He was awake for HOURS after his birth, just looking at the world all around - most babies fall asleep after one hour, so we treasured that extra time to bond with him.

Life is forever changed, and I am so, so happy for it. I never could have imagined the love I feel for Max and how overwhelming and all-encompassing that is.

Nursery!

If anybody is interested in more photos of the nursery, check out this blog post!

Eeny Meeny may make an appearance any day now, so luckily everything seems to be ready (as ready as you can ever be for parenthood, I suppose)!

Here I am at about 37 weeks, one week ago. It looks like I will make it to 38 weeks - I wonder how much longer after that before we get to meet our sweet Eeny Meeny!

Maternity Leave!

As I sit on my couch on this sunny fall morning, cuddling with Bosco and enjoying my second day of maternity leave, I must admit that I am a very happy preggo, and finally have a moment to reflect on some things...

I recently read in one of my many pregnancy books (I couldn't tell you which one!) that women today are squeezing pregnancy into their busy lives, rather than re-arranging things a bit to allow for the many unexpected aspects of growing a baby for ten months!

In this regard, I feel so grateful to be in Canada, where birth and motherhood are valued enough to offer women a real chance at caring for their babies, and where public health means that we have not once had to worry about the what-ifs of childbirth. Women here are given a full YEAR of maternity leave, and for the duration of that year, the government provides me, even as a non-citizen with a work permit, with 55% of my salary. Many companies will even top up salary for a few months.

Ben and I have always known that when we were ready to have kids, there was no way I could handle only six to 12 weeks at home with our baby - in the States, during that formative first year of a baby's life, you really are forced to choose between being a mother or keeping your career, and this seems so wrong to me! I'm not saying all women should take a year of maternity leave, but they should at least have the choice to take longer than a few months and still return to a job afterward. To me, maternity care is a totally overlooked aspect of women's rights in the US. Anyway, I will get off my soapbox now :)

Aside from the logistics of pregnancy, I am just feeling so content at the moment - the debilitating back pain of last week has passed (now that Baby has dropped into position) and the hip pain that I'm told strikes at the end of pregnancy has not yet overtaken me, so I must be in some sort of brief sweet spot! Eeny Meeny is very active still (maybe it's all the Halloween candy, oops!), and every little kick, even if it's to the bladder, makes me melt.

I'm 36 1/2 weeks along, so Ben and I are eagerly awaiting Eeny Meeny's arrival, but also feeling grateful for each day that he or she stays put, growing bigger and stronger with each moment that passes!

Another perk of maternity leave? I've finally finished Eeny Meeny's nursery! Here's a peek at it - I'll post more photos on facebook for those who are interested :)

Autumn

This time of year seems to make me feel the most homesick, probably because autumn in Tennessee is by far my favorite time of year, and Tennessee is my favorite place to enjoy that first breath of crisp air and glimpse of leaves changing to orange and yellow and red. Plus there are so many great memories of the fall in Tennessee, like our amazing October wedding, football season, and of course my birthday! After a somewhat disappointing Calgary summer that seemed to segway right into a gray, wintery September, I was beginning to worry there would be nothing nice between spring and another winter.

But Ben and I just spent my birthday weekend in the Rockies and after all my complaining about Alberta's lack of a real autumn and leaves changing, I was happily proven wrong. Proven wrong by Alberta's stunning larch trees and a couple of gorgeous sunny days! Somehow we totally missed the larches last autumn, but they are scattered across the mountainsides and valleys, offering the most spectacular bright yellow leaves, which are a stunning contrast to the deep green pines, gray mountains and bright blue sky.

I feel vindicated in a way, like I have not completely missed out on what is, in my opinion, the best time of year. The Rockies continue to surprise me! Here are a few photos of our trip into the mountains, and the view of Calgary from our balcony - even Calgary has exploded into a fall paradise over the weekend, so I will soak it up while I can!